AuTalkz II - 027 - Group Therapy

Next:  Awkwardness

Previous:  Insecurity


I was required to have group therapy when I was in high school since I went to an alternative high school from about mid-11th grade until graduation.

Though this was before I was diagnosed with Asperger's, I still had ASD.  I was at the alternative school due to panic attacks keeping me from going to my regular high school, so everyone just thought it was panic attacks and OCD. 

For me, group therapy was torture.

We weren't allowed to have anything in our hands, so forget about stimming...can't rock back and forth or anything on the chairs, either.
I had taken to putting a keychain of an anime character in my pocket to hide it from the counselors so I had something as a stim.
Course, at that point, I didn't know it was stimming...but now I know since I used it as sensory input to stay calm.

Welp, as calm as I could be in a group of people.  There were only ten people or so, but even that was a lot to me, and I never even once talked about any of my issues.
Other people talked about theirs, and during the times I was actually paying attention, I'd attempt to help since that's in my nature...of course, it'd take me a while to actually say my point.
Stuff like that leads to feeling insecure about your own speech, so I talked even LESS in group.

Leaving the room wasn't allowed, either; they actually made sure that we went to the bathroom beforehand, so we had no excuse to leave (I still found one or two if I really needed to get out of the room).

So, there were the rules, but there was also the fact that it wasn't one-on-one therapy.  I would not only be talking to a counselor, but all of my peers as well.
NO THANK YOU.
I was never comfortable enough to share anything about myself that was personal.

Once I graduated, later down the road, one therapist I was seeing had suggested group therapy.
Actually, more like tried to force it down my throat.
My father was also pushing for group therapy.

While I knew that the rules would probably be different considering that I'm an adult and it's with other adults rather than a group of teenagers, there was still the initial point of conflict which was:
I just am not comfortable with sharing ANYTHING personal with a group of people.

Even talking in a group of people is difficult for me.  When I'm at a social gathering or a dinner, I usually find myself a little niche of perhaps 2-3 people I'm willing to communicate with...and even that's exhausting.  Plus, I still wasn't sharing anything personal like they'd expect at therapy.

The only thing I ever shared at group was an attempt to share my love of anime and drawing, but I wasn't that great of an artist back then, so obviously my artwork didn't get much attention (neither positive nor negative), so I gave up on that as well.
After just a couple sessions, and the entirety of 12th grade, I just sat there with that anime character keychain in my pocket (or a yo-yo at one point, though I couldn't use it; some sort of toy) and waited for it to be over while I tried to keep myself stimmed enough to not need to draw attention to myself by leaving the room.


Group therapy isn't for everyone.  If folks want to encourage social skills and prowess in people with social disorders, I honestly don't think that a setting like group therapy is a good one.
Personally, I believe that it should be a setting in where the person feels they have some sort of common ground; like an anime club, for example.
With something like that, a person with ASD can at least talk about their interest with others who are interested, and it's not only easier to break the ice (heck, I've talked to random people when I used to go to anime conventions back in high school) but to feel more comfortable talking.

I don't agree with therapists who try to shove group down the throats of people with social issues (be it ASD, ADD/ADHD, anxiety, etc).
To me, it's like they're saying:  "I have no clue how to deal with your issues or help you, so I'm pushing you off on another counselor whom you don't know with a group of people you don't know and have never met."

Again, I'm more for trying to find something the person is interested in and go from there.  Do they like something which is a big or broad enough subject to have conventions they could go to?
Are there any clubs in their area which also shares in that interest or is made for that interest?

Those are better techniques than forcing group therapy on people who, quite honestly, probably aren't benefiting from it at all.


If you like this artwork and wish to help support me in doing them, please take a look at my patreon page at www.patreon.com/mdchan